“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” -Yves Saint Laurent

4. The closest a man should ever come to touching denim shorts is helping a woman out of them.

12. The man who imparts opinions via T-shirt has neither the intelligence to form a cogent opinion nor the good sense to keep it to himself.

25. The only ribbed items a man should wear are socks and condoms, and he best not confuse the two.

31. Never wear more than two denim items at a time. Scratch that: Never wear more than one denim item at a time, and make sure it’s not a vest.

46. There’s a 74 percent chance that a man who isn’t wearing socks isn’t wearing underwear, either. Both endeavors attract the same kind of man.

47. Don’t borrow any clothes from that man.

50. Unless he’s a chef, a gardener, or a jolly fat man from Holland, no one should ever wear clogs in his daily life. Same goes for Crocs.

51. Speaking of: We’re not sure what Americans did to deserve Crocs, but whatever it was, we’re sorry. We’re really, really sorry.

The (New) Laws of Casual Style - Esquire