Return to who?

I'm sure some people who visit this blog (thank you) wonder what the name 'Return to Her' actually stands for, or means. It is not about a girlfriend, or lyrics from a death metal band or anything personal but rather something I believe in with every cell, molecule and atom that I am composed of.

First some background. I was born into a family that forced no beliefs on me from the beginning. Who in fact embraced me to think for myself. After attending a private catholic middle school (which they thought would help educate me better) I began to be intrigued with the religion of christianity. I wanted to know about god, and live a good life as does everyone. Yet to this day I remember how fearful I felt each time I attended mass. I had no idea that if I didn't memorize the stations of the cross or genuflect at the correct moment I would go to hell. My god, why hadn't my parents told me this before? Why hadn't they made me aware that the world was only 12,000 years old and that if I stole a candy bar from the corner store with my friends I was doomed to burn in hell? But it was only a matter of time before logic reared its ugly head and I realized how ridiculous many of the things I was being taught were. I felt like a rebel, a true bad ass at the age of 13; then... high school. I went to a private catholic high school again solely because my parents felt it would better my education. As much as I hated it, if it wasn't for the alcoholic fathers and overly medicated religion teachers who were only 'born again' because of skeletons they wished to hide, I would not have been pushed into trying to educate myself on worldly things. So thank you crazy 11th grade religion teacher who made us write down on a piece of paper the one and only thing that would get us into heaven, and after exiting the room acted as St. Peter at the door allowing only those who wrote 'the belief in jesus' back inside and making the rest miss the rest of class. Fragment sentence I know, maybe my English teacher didn't do as good a job. Since high school though alongside trying to maintain an acceptable social life which was non-existent in said establishment, I have tried to come to some personal all encompassing conclusion on which to base my beliefs, morals and way of life.

And I believe I have found it. Not discovered but simply stumbled across for it's always been there, it just doesn't come with a man who was 100% god and 100% man (i mean wtf?) to point it out. What follows is a stream of consciousness so bear with me. We simply exist. There may be nothing more definite than the fact we are simply entities that are constructed of star dust, billions of years in the making. There is only here and only now, and I will not go to the past to look for shelter . I will not be frightful of the future for it has not happened and will not happen without focus and attention on the present. There is nothing more concrete or truer than one's self. And with this belief one can accomplish anything. We need not religion or looming figure looking over our shoulders to be moral beings. To believe in such things is to simply deny the power that you hold within yourself. We have been led to believe in individuality, success and power are what make a man or woman. When in trying to achieve such things we become detached from the very thing that breaths life and knowledge into us, one another. We are nothing without our fellow man. And every action we take must be in accordance with the survival and well being of one another. In doing so you in turn aid yourself. We are told the amount of wealth and affluence you gain over your nearly non existent time here makes you who you are. I am here to tell you it means nothing. The knowledge you impart on future generations means everything, including the survival and well being of those generations. I don't know if there is a 'god' or some supernatural entity that watches over us. I don't know what happens when we die? Perhaps we just cease to exist. Perhaps it doesn't even matter. When it happens I will know for sure and you can read my afterlife blog.

Which brings me back to the meaning of 'Return to Her'. Her refers to the common personification of the planet Earth. The single thing besides the sun, and ok maybe the moon that gives us life. And not just the earth, but we the people of the earth are one entity and without a return to ourselves we will not be truly happy and truly flourish. Go read a book, go watch a movie and discuss it with a friend, go online and find out how to cook or read Aristotle's Metaphysics. Figure out things for yourself and impart your wisdom on others. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt and collect as many grains as you can to form the truth for yourself. And in the end, if there is a god and when we make it to the gates of heaven, in doing all of this would he/she not look upon us with great love in their heart? Or perhaps if we are reincarnated, would it not mean we would be one step closer to escaping the endlessly turning wheel of samsara?